and . And you may sit and read while I teach the others, and, well, if you have any questions, I shall do my best to answer them. Rudolpho! PICK UP LINES! NIGEL lies down on the ground. Lights up. Miss Honey: So she's learned a few tricks. Well it's hard for me to remember a specific cake. We have everything . Oh no, Headmistress. Agatha Trunchbull. Here. Cute pick-up lines can help you get past the awkwardness of meeting someone for the first time. Matilda: MISS TRUNCHBULL MATILDA We never thought it was possible, It's the Trunchbull's speciality. BIG KID [BEN] MISS TRUNCHBULL Yes. Nonsense. And right now, we are eating dinner and watching TV! I've got a whole house to look after! Get in the car, Melinda! Harry Wormwood: Mr. Wormwood: BIG KID [BEN] 28 of the best book quotes from Matilda. Please! Harry Wormwood: Oh, that's where it's at! MISS HONEY He rips out several pages and throws them dramatically on the ground. . That is the biggest hug in the world. And remember to be extremely careful. Amanda Thripp: That's not right. Come in, come in, whoever you are. You finally matched with someone who feels like a genuine person, exactly your cup of tea, but breaking the ice can be tough for us introverted fellows. google_color_url="320000"; Yes, I know what caveat emptor means, you lowlife liar! Please, stand, and do as much as you can. Million $ Sticky Host: MATILDA A little less head, a lot more derriere. 100 Best Pickup Lines for Girls That Actually Work | by Qasim Adam | ILLUMINATION | Medium 500 Apologies, but something went wrong on our end. MR WORMWOOD You gotta be loud! 7. AAAHH! The CHILDREN, save BRUCE, but including MISS HONEY, hide under the desks. ACROBAT [off-stage] Michael chokes the carrot]. MRS WORMWOOD Dinners don't microwave themselves, you know! They're cops, Dad. A large iron gate made of square holes of various sizes rolls in from both sides of the stage. And if you want to make the team, You're just wasting energy, The endings are often a little bit gory! Even if you're little, you can do a lot. Qui mon fella Italiano. BRUCE wilts by the desk. My daddy says I'm his special little soldier. [Looking irritated, she makes her way to BRUCE's side.] I'm gonna take that no-good jalopy you sold me and shove it up your bazooga! No, not there! MR WORMWOOD kicks her out of the way, talking on the telephone. % Harry Wormwood: Harry Wormwood: No kid likes being yelled at, but it was precisely Harry's ranting and raving that gave Matilda the key to her power. MRS PHELPS exits with the blocks. Oh my. To the rules. These are the best hilarious pick up lines we've got, so if you can manage a decent delivery, you've got great odds you'll have her smirking, smiling, laughing, and eager to get closer. Just get on your feet, Jenny. Matilda: I can see Chew your food; you're an animal! 2. Where are the children's books? "Right"? MATILDA As me. They performed some of the most incredible feats together anyone has ever seen. Past Matilda. NIGEL leans forward in concentration and groans in agony several times. . . You have a worm, What's wrong with you? Good hair means a good brain. RUDOLPHO Harry Wormwood, owner, founder, whatever. MISS HONEY [Harry walks down to the kitchen, unaware that his hair has just turned an unhealthy platinum blonde] [He laughs.] Oh, er, hello. MISS HONEY The woman from COUPLE 1 blows on a birthday cake as the table splits in two and MATILDA stands from behind it, holding a collection of books from one hand. AAHHH! Matilda turns around and carrot is facing her. I might have known. Jack and Jill went up the hill Eleven times two is twenty-two. You gotta give yourself permission to shine. The DOCTOR runs behind the table with the others. I love your stories, Matilda! 2. It's a good thing I have my library. Has my daddy told ya I'll come back later, then. My mummy says I'm a miracle, [walks into the dining room and looks in the mirror] MISS HONEY hurries to pull the cap from NIGEL's mouth. Hanging down by your ears. It's not mine! . That's right, honey, look at mummy. Now, this is much harder, so don't worry if you don't get it. One should avoid confrontation when possible. It's a library book! [on the phone, yells] Now, look. The condition is characterised by the sufferer experiencing bouts of chronic fatigue, and falling suddenly asleep, often without knowing, or any warning at all. The curtain is wheeled away to reveal MRS WORMWOOD. I can! And you know where you'll end up? He'll probably think he's in bed when he wakes up. I ate the lot! Oh, no, Matilda. <> That such frequent miracles don't render each one un-miraculous? I have never been able to understand why small children are so disgusting. MRS PHELPS retreats to the smaller block and sits down. Zinnia Wormwood: BRUCE What am doing here? Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty! MR WORMWOOD is having a lot of trouble with the book, even putting his foot on it and pulling at it. Dad said I'd learn the alphabet! But the "tomato" is a very good word. Photographs of my mother and father, and a beautiful doll my mother gave me with a china face. MRS WORMWOOD It must be wonderful for a child to be so wanted. "thinking". I'm not guilty! MISS TRUNCHBULL Bambinatum! . Before I first heard the Pealing of the bell. MISS TRUNCHBULL Stop me when this becomes true, but once upon a time, you and I went on a date. Miss Honey: Trunchbull: RUDOLPHO . Excellent man. It doesn't really matter if you don't know much! . You'll fit it in. MRS PHELPS We never thought it was possible, MR WORMWOOD . Great, big, question-asking . She puts down the large block and MATILDA stands on it. Quick, jackets! Zinnia Wormwood: AAAHH! I have a nice house, a wonderful husband and you are slaving away teaching snot-nosed children their ABCs. In the world of lame pick-up lines, corny phrases, and straight-out catcalling, there's one form of getting noticed that's neither flimsy nor stupid. Bruce Bogtrotter: MISS TRUNCHBULL flails victoriously, then starts blowing her whistle. MISS HONEY Zinnia Wormwood: You have brats yourself? Life's a ball, so learn to throw it, She misses me so much. . MISS TRUNCHBULL grimaces as the purple spotlight leaves her. BACKGROUND SINGERS Agatha Trunchbull: My daddy says I would be the teacher's pet! What? Wonderful. If you are having fun, you are not learning. Knock on the door, Jenny. Shut up! Do you think I altered my intended elevation? in a week. Matilda: The room freezes as MISS TRUNCHBULL starts to write the word "GUILTY" on the board. . You wanted cake, you got cake! Harry Wormwood: The fibers fused to my hair! You're heading for the chokey, young lady! What was my profit for the day? Agatha Trunchbull: Harry Wormwood: The moved into a beautiful old house at the edge of town, and in the evenings, they would walk and take the air. MISS TRUNCHBULL 2. Yeah, I got a boy, Mikey, and one mis-*take*, Matilda. Bruce! You gotta be loud! Starring: Alisha Weir, Emma Thompson, Lashana Lynch. You're only four years old. . [He throws the cigarette into the audience.] You should be embarrassed. Mrs Wormwood, do you really have no idea? He surely can't! . MISS TRUNCHBULL MR WORMWOOD Mine are driving me crazy. . front bottom. Mrs. Wormwood: . MR WORMWOOD . Before I first heard the pealing of the bell. Miss Honey: //-->. A wonderful new person is about to come into your life to bring love, and magic, and happiness, and wonder! Narrator: Ah-ah-aah-ah [He finally gives up and straightens up casually.] No one is as bold or tough as me. Yes. MR WORMWOOD Ten times two is twenty. Oliver Twist . "AMANDA" drops from the rafters above the audience into a pile of coats underneath her. It's just a door. [Jenny enters Ms. Trunchbull's office and almost get struck by a dart]. [reciting the words as Matilda magically writes them on the blackboard] Look what you've done, you stupid woman. This uncorrupted mind. They took one look at the mileage on the first car and they said that these cars were all knackered. To fetch a pail of water. Well, a man is entitled to come home and find dinner on the table, without having to wait for a convention of male strippers! Don't hide it under a bushel. I have to tell you, Headmistress, that in . [as Harry switches on Matilda's lamp] DOCTOR No! Ha, ha, ha, ha Harry Wormwood: Do you think in that moment, when my big moment came, MR WORMWOODOh, my good Lord. Yes. ". Matilda, 4 Years: Oh, yes. [Matilda arrives home from school late at night after Bruce Bogtrotter's encounter with the Trunchbull] WHY ARE ALL THESE WOMEN MARRIED? Chew your food; you're an animal! I sold it for $7,839 big American boffo's. Right. As I started my spin, did I look at the view? I'll come in there and pound your miserable hide! All right! Do you think I would allow myself to be defeated by these maggots, do you? A spotlight makes its way across the letters on the board, finally settling at the end on the letter Z. . Maybe I shouldn't tell you any more. If you became ill, heaven forbid, your doctor would be a college graduate. MISS TRUNCHBULL Smile for mummy, smile for mother. He surely can't! google_color_border="EDC7C2"; [to MISS HONEY] You don't! MISS HONEY exits behind the stacks as the library scene rolls in. [She turns the screens back on.]. I'm gonna give you a tanning like you never had in your life! They're all mistakes, children! I'm not in favor of girls getting all clever-pants, Miss Hussy. What is this trash you're reading? Wormwood! Michael chokes the carrot, while putting baby Matilda in the sink to rinse away spinach, Miss Honey briefly nods yes as she leaves to rescue Matilda from the Chokey, Harry walks down to the kitchen, unaware that his hair has just turned an unhealthy platinum blonde, Michael's mouth drops open in shock upon seeing Harry's hair, walks into the dining room and looks in the mirror, throwing marshmallows as Matilda was grabbing the book that was thrown, the Trunchbull's car, sold to her by Harry Wormwood, has broken down, forcing her to haul it all the way back to her house, Matilda and Miss Honey arrive at Miss Honey's cottage, realizes the Trunchbull is Miss Honey's aunt, Matilda and Miss Honey walk past the Trunchbull's house, as the TV explodes, due to Matilda's powers, looks at Miss Honey and warning the children they were watching us, after smashing the entire cake platter over Bruce Bogtrotter's head, causing the children to stop cheering. Once upon a time, the two greatest circus performers in the world an escapologist who could escape from any lock that was ever invented, and an acrobat who was so skilled it seemed as if she could actually fly fell in love, and got married. But she was about to discover she had a strength a strength she wasn't even aware of. . Told me to watch out for the brat, though; says she's a real wart. The story follows Matilda as she interacts with her parents, who fail to see the worth in education, and Crunchem Hall headmistress Agatha Trunchbull. She has never seen a! [TV Version] Oh, Matilda! Now, the secret to my success in business is . Agatha Trunchbull: MISS TRUNCHBULL MATILDA said the wife, smiling sadly and slipping her hand into his. Uh, welcome to Wormwood Motors. It is delineated into "His" and "Hers" sides.] What do you want, Miss Chutney? [She puts the book in the cupboard and hurries to the hat rack with a bottle reading "sooper gloo". Like, why is there a "d" in "fridge" but . He takes it and squashes it firmly down onto his head. 9. He's eaten it all. Did we sell some cars today, honeydew? MATILDA The school bell rings and all the children march out. I'm Lavender, and I think it's probably for the best if we're best friends! Dirty dealings, like buying stolen car parts, never stay secret for long, especially when the FBI gets involved. There's more the second part. Is your nickname glucose? Could I speak to you for a moment, please? The less you have to show, the louder you dress it. Miss Honey: It is, is it? DOCTOR 'Cause your life as you know it is "aitcH"-ent history. LAVENDER Now, get out of here, you little stink worm! If you always take it on the chin and wear it, I mean, I know you say you didn't, but obviously, you did. Just so you all know, she's my best friend! MISS TRUNCHBULL [He sits down in a zen position.]. BIG KIDS approach and start climbing onto the gate and grabbing the CHILDREN from behind it. Innocent victims of their story. And . Not a dot did I stray from the plot. A curtain is wheeled in with the words "5 YEARS AGO" painted on it. The CHILDREN reach out from behind the gate as the BIG KIDS carry them away. . Mrs. Wormwood: Who wants stories? Looks like rain. FBI Agent Bob: I'll have her for that. MR WORMWOOD And that's not right. Matilda is a American fantasy comedy film co-produced and directed by Danny DeVito, from a screenplay written by Nicholas Kazan and Robin Swicord. What car? Auuurrrgh! She's reading a book. Now, get off to bed, you little bookworm. A long table with the word "Birthday" emblazoned on it moves forward, with little hands creeping along the bottom. MISS HONEY Matilda: Crazy Credits Daughter of Mr Harry Wormwood who owns Wormwood Moturs. These are some of the best quotes from the fantasy family film Matilda as determined by you and your votes. Erm, well, as you know, Matilda is in the bottom class. That was only the first part of your punishment. MATILDA's classmates enter hesitantly from the front of the stage. Oh, it will only take a moment. | Each newborn life a canvas yet unpainted, This it not your problem. 4. My name is Miss Honey. It seems that there are millions of these "one in a millions" these days. And expensive, $9.25 for a bar of soap? Three times two is six. What is your name? Bruce! MISS TRUNCHBULL's office, complete with her in a high-backed chair (facing the back of the stage) is wheeled in. The end is happier. She stops in triumph. Like Romeo and Juliet, The distance the shotput goes, depends upon the effort that you PUT INTO IT. Stand up and be proud! Cause I had to slow down to take a second look at you. Hey, dip face. Agatha Trunchbull: That's right, sir. DOCTOR I am trying to pull off the biggest business deal of my life and I have to listen to this. The reason the mileage is so high is a manufacturing mistake.". CHILDREN 1. . The children begin to pop up from behind the table and speak. [He stomps and crouches on the floor, pulling at his hat and making sounds of exertion. Suddenly, out came the Escapologist, dressed as usual in his tights and spangly costume. You'll be punished so severely if you step out of line. And it's made of spikes and wood. I don't know if my nerves will make it until tomorrow. I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me. Psst! It was the age of wisdom . One look at my face and it's plain to see. Would you like some milk? . CHILDREN and BIG KIDS run in, creating pandemonium. Before my happy days were Over, And you won't be getting "right" there, oh no. Or just a coincidence? 2022 | Maturity Rating: PG | 1h 56m | Kids & Family Movies. Because she's a spectacularly wonderful child and I love her. DOCTOR I told you that was a cheap set. Bye, Mrs Phelps! Looks are more important than books. But wrong. Extra strong. My mummy says I'm a precious barrelina. MICHAEL gets up and MR WORMWOOD sits down on his recliner. Look, I don't have time for all these legalities! She hates it when I go out. LAVENDER Whatever you do, just don't give in. Here we are, my heartstrings! Indeed, sir. AAAHH! I don't know. It's just pathetic. Mr Wormwood! 3. "Time is on our side. BIG KID [BEN] It is said that we humans use only a tiny portion of our brains. A little less brains, a lot more hair. MR WORMWOOD tickles him and MICHAEL laughs suddenly, then falls back into his normal dull expression. Oh, hello, Miss Trunchbull. But unleSs you want to suffer, listen up She rented it from this lovely rhubarb farmer for just $50 a month, and she covered it in honeysuckle, and she planted hundreds of wildflowers, and she moved out of her wicked aunt's house, and she finally got her freedom. DOCTOR Trunchbull: Mum says I'm a good case for population control. Hey, sleep with me.I am not scary.I'm really rich.I'm Drew Carey. ], MISS HONEY MISS TRUNCHBULL FBI Agent Bob: You can read words. Oh, my hair! Look at him go! Dip face! . Zinnia Wormwood: MISS HONEY, dazed, follows the dance as best she can. "It is called," said the husband, announcing the event to the world's press, who had gathered to listen with bated breath [The voice of the ESCAPOLOGIST echoes her words.] This still, unbroken skin, I don't believe Matilda's that kind of child at all. Well? CHILDREN MRS WORMWOOD 5. A fool? 6. MRS WORMWOOD Harry Wormwood: The alphabet? MR WORMWOOD You don't use sympathy or tenderness. They never stood a chance. 125 Best Tinder & Bumble Pick Up Lines That Are Funny, Cute and Totally Flirty Up your online dating game with these sweet one-liners. MATILDA CHILDREN 1 OLDER KIDS BIG KIDS Lissy Doll, I called her. Gloria Magitum! That I treated the rules with casual disdain? Two times . TOMMY Smells chocolatey, eh? You couldn't spell "difficulty" if your life depended on it. The lawyer who defended you would have gone to college, too. Are you listening? You see, the Trunchbull's cake was so good that I'd scoffed it down too quick, and now it was beginning to fight back. Why, why, why, why, why, why, why? MRS WORMWOOD Matilda lies down and flicks off the light. Miss Trunchbull kept the whole school late because this boy ate some chocolate cake. MATILDA You "We have everything that the world has to offer," said the wife. MISS TRUNCHBULL Just knock on the door . He's my dance partner. She starts the video screens playing again. The library? BIG KID [BEN] You two men are going to be in a lot of trouble very soon. Just you wait for phys-ed. Go on, Brucey! Zinnia's on the phone, talking about her kids, reciting the words as Matilda magically writes them on the blackboard, to the FBI agents, as they rummage through her parents' garage looking for car parts, He drags Matilda, throwing the book aside, to where Zinnia is, to Michael, who is choking on a carrot Matilida shot at his mouth with her powers, speaking to Matilda about her and her father, accusing Matilda of putting a newt in her drinking water, Matilda uses her powers to slam her bedroom door in Harry's face just as he reaches it, Matilda arrives home from school late at night after Bruce Bogtrotter's encounter with the Trunchbull, snatching the book from Matilda and tears the pages out of the cover, appalled at Zinnia talking with FBI agents Bill and Bob, after Matilda destroys the Wormwoods' TV with her powers, Harry has ordered out of the house the FBI agents, whom Zinnia had just been talking to, she notices that the chocolate box lid is opened and hangs up, she lunges the ball at the door, ultimately puncturing it immensely, she shoves Jenny out of her office and slams the door after her, Jenny enters Ms. Trunchbull's office and almost get struck by a dart, throws carrot from the spoon. Good-bye, Mrs Phelps. MR WORMWOOD takes a mirror that MRS WORMWOOD brandishes. What poem would that be? DOCTOR And as time passed, they grew quite old, and still they had no child. She taught us with a poem. Stood! But if you did happen to have a story you wanted to tell . [He dances backwards and MRS WORMWOOD follows along.]. I didn't do anything! . Does that mean I can get that new TV? 4. I'm telling you, I didn't do it! endobj There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle [Matilda and Miss Honey arrive at Miss Honey's cottage]. have you read a whole book? There's another crime in the making, your car is about to run a stop sign. And instead of a musical fanfare, there was silence, as he solemnly strode into the room. Now EAT IT! MR WORMWOODOh, this is thick! MISS TRUNCHBULL Agatha Trunchbull: I thought grown-ups weren't afraid of anything. The BIG KIDS and CHILDREN scurry away. But learning a language is over the top . ERIC, TOMMY, and BRUCE . [Talking about the cake] [everyone in the room except Miss Trunchbull and Miss Honey join in]. Dad says I should watch more TV. Oh, I look nice. [looking at a portrait of her father] Have another marshmallow, Dip face. Because basically a sentence is just a big bunch of words. One of the novel's antagonists, Mr. Wormwood is Matilda and Michael 's father, and Mrs. Wormwood 's husband. MISS HONEY Yes, please. MISS HONEY is left in a pile stage right. Bruce 'Little Brucey: Yes, Miss Trunchbull, please, you can! MATILDA MR WORMWOOD How do you do this? MISS TRUNCHBULL . I'm afraid I've not been too successful in getting others to recognize your . It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. A weakling? MISS TRUNCHBULL hurries over to AMANDA. Trunchbull: I hope you've enjoyed these lines and had a laugh! All right. She then sniffs her way across the room, following the former path of the spotlight. I love my school. And so it was, they decided to perform the most dangerous feat ever known to man! You can be all cynical, It was the biggest burp I had ever heard. Harry Wormwood: 9:17 is correct. The children begin to pop up from behind the table and speak. [after listing prices of cars bought and sold]. [Harry has ordered out of the house the FBI agents, whom Zinnia had just been talking to]. Why would you want green hair? Matilda? Try to be funny, or clever, or both! And I'm very sorry . Jenny: Besides, even if you didn't do it, I'm going to punish you, because I'm big and you're small, I'm right and you're wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it! Look at that! How does that sound? I need to talk to SOMEBODY besides our stupid kids! Where he's been for the last hour, actually. No, it's not a poem by William S., although a recital of Othello would get you far, but rather math pick-up lines. DOCTOR MISS TRUNCHBULL CHILDREN You can be all cynical, MISS HONEY [She shoves ERIC out of his seat so MATILDA can stand on his desk.]. CHILDREN RUDOLPHO dances across the back of the stage. Now go watch TV like a good kid. But it's a truth empirical. The vanity rises again, signifying morning. Go on. The less you have to sell, the harder you sell it. "I have paid for the posters, publicity, the catering, the toilet facilities. [He pulls the towel over his head and starts massaging vigorously]. [she lunges the ball at the door, ultimately puncturing it immensely]. MRS WORMWOOD I've got a plane to catch at three. If you cooperate, we'll make sure it's a nice orphanage. ACT 1. 8. Oh, parle Italiano? MISS HONEY is browsing the stacks. My daddy says I'm his special little . It was like the entire world went silent for that burp to exist. DOCTOR Desks rise from the ground and a blackboard makes its way from the back of the stage. No, sir. My daddy says I'm a bore. I've been trapped inside this (K) cage for ages, BIG KID [TAYLOR] Matilda: You missed it. The entire assembly will stay five hours after school and copy from the dictionary! Five times two is ten. Matilda: Six times two is twelve. Thirteen times two is twenty-six. Ev-er-y life is unbelievably unlikely. What do I have to do to gain respect around here? Are you looking for a good amount of pickup lines. Since you're an educator, I'll make you a deal. Just knock on the door. Your genius husband is going to sell them one hundred and fifty five knackered old bangers as brand-new luxury cars. The most common thing in life is life . 101 Weird & Best Pick Up Lines For Girls (Make Them Laugh!) MRS WORMWOOD And if you cry it will be double. I can see we're not going to agree, are we? Sued by who? . Okay, my boy, heir to the throne, today we diddle the customer. Well, here I am. Good morning, children! xYoH)SSY w:!>8615Nqrf Ukg73y,=zr%|X*p ao{~~O{Hp '|\|WOKk%eMJ|lKi@w+g#ZIW0uCAp`i Didn't we? If you were a vegetable, you'd be a 'cute-cumber.'. [to the FBI agents, as they rummage through her parents' garage looking for car parts] google_color_bg="EDC7C2"; That didn't happen. They're the bane of my life. Dec 15, 2021 - Explore Matilda A.skott's board "pickup lines" on Pinterest. Rules? the Acrobat's sister, a frightening woman who used to be an Olympic-class hammer-thrower, who loved nothing better than to scare the children of the town. This one was mine. MAN: Don't put honey on your brother. [:g-] Did I drift off and dream for a minute or two? Harry Wormwood: Amanda Thripp: Yes, sir. I shall pound you. And Jenny's outside. Harry Wormwood: Last week, I read quite a few. It was the biggest burp I had ever done. He stands up on a block. FBI Agent Bob: CHILDREN and COUPLES arrange themselves behind it. MATILDA [bends down] Mr. Wormwood: "It is our destiny ". The ESCAPOLOGIST starts to walk in from the back of the stage. The sooner you're locked up in that school, the better. Whoa! . Sorry, Miss Trunchbull. Take hints from the ideas to charm and impress her with your words during your first meeting. No! MATILDA Didn't we?! . See who wins. Or maybe your largeness This is one of the most beautiful children I've ever seen. In my school? MRS WORMWOOD A NURSE is holding a baby, which cries. . Ah-ah-aah-ah You're the only daughter I ever had, Matilda. What a dear! You really don't know anything, do you? A boy with no fingie? She uses them to carry on a conversation. You and your father think you can make a fool out of me! MRS WORMWOOD Harry Wormwood: Antibiotics, or . What? Miss Honey: That's not fair! Then suddenly, the audience jumped to its feet and roared in appreciation! It's out of the question. So, erm . Sixteen times two is thirty-two. Maybe you used some of mummy's peroxide by mistake. The hat shrunk! Sell me a lemon? If you want to throw the hammer for your country. I wish my pillow was as huggable as you. Only when they deserved it, of course. I live in a cage, Harry! Matilda Wormwood! [wielding a hammer throw] google_ad_host="pub-6693688277674466"; Are they good runners? Now, here's a tip: [She grabs a baton with a yellow ribbon attached to it and starts twirling to the music.] A bell rings. You are a thief! MRS PHELPS No one's gonna love you if you don't know the rumba. As I stepped up to the circle, did I change my plan? Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty! MATILDA hides the glue behind her back as MR WORMWOOD enters. Bunch of hippies and cesspool salesmen, ha ha ha ha Jenny: Matilda Quotes Showing 1-30 of 112 "So Matilda's strong young mind continued to grow, nurtured by the voices of all those authors who had sent their books out into the world like ships on the sea. I'll be watching you, each and every one. Agatha Trunchbull: Her life was good and happy. Trunchbull: 2. Oh, my good Lord. Where did you get those? You cannot see squat . NIGEL [He throws the phone to the lackey.] You've never set foot in a library. I'm never wrong! Trunchbull: MISS TRUNCHBULL Just knock on the door. Good Lord, woman, have you started already? [She stands and approaches MISS HONEY menacingly, towering over her.] "It is where the loneliness of life has led us.". But Harry's ranting and raving gave Matilda the key to her power. RUDOLPHO Look at you hesitating. Ladies and gentlemen! [throwing marshmallows as Matilda was grabbing the book that was thrown] The DOCTOR and the CHILDREN sing into their stethoscopes. . Agatha Trunchbull: Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. A little less fact, a lot more feel. Get the hell outta here! (Starts to go, but really this time) I'm going to put the newt in Trunchbull's jug! A beautiful, beautiful little girl. I slave all day, and you're entertaining a couple of surfer dude bodybuilders! Here in the library again, are we? [to Michael] And do you tell them lots of stories like you do with me? One look at my face and it's plain to see. MATILDA MISS HONEY[placatingly] Miss Trunchbull. LAVENDER puts the wooden spoon back in his hand. $5,000? Platinum blonde hair dye. WOMAN: She is clearly more emotionally developed than her peers. Calculate this! Oh, no, you are not "full". MISS HONEY Mrs. C, Mrs. U, Mrs. L-T-Y! Mr. Wormwood. Adopt me, Miss Honey! . You have to stay inside the circle all the time. "Come with me, and I'll show you why it's called the Shrieking Shack.". I'd love to meet her, actually . At night, they listened to the silence of their big, empty house, and they would imagine how beautiful it would be if it was filled with the sound of a child playing. . You're getting on a plane, Mrs Wormwood? MISS TRUNCHBULL Of course you didn't do it, you little twit! We can have our cake and eat it , Ah-ah-aah-ah Pizza is my second favorite thing that I eat in bed. Creep on back to that library of yours or something. And, while you're at it, why don't you stick your stupid book to your stupid head? In a manner of speaking, yes. The boy's a looney. . If anything, caution in these situations is sensible. MISS TRUNCHBULL Harry Wormwood: And people would come from miles around: kings! When you turn the corner, when you go to your cubbies to get your smelly coats, when you skip merrily to lunch, I'll be watching you, all of you, and especially you. Narrator: Do you need a sin for your next confession? So innocent I (R) asked a thousand questions, They were left out there for the whole world to see because you weren't here to take 'em in! This boy's got no fingie. [She takes MATILDA by the wrist and leads her to ERIC's desk.] According to a constitutional law book that I read in the library, if you don't have one, you could lose your job or even go to federal prison. For men. "Escapologist", he says!